My favourite movies for 2005

1. 2046 (Canto)

2. Batman Begins

3. Kingdom Of Heaven

4. All about love (Canto)

5. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

6. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe

7. King Kong

8. Coach Carter

9. Lords of Dogtown

10. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

11. Hitch

12. Constantine

13. The Legend of Zorro


Notable 'So-so's

1. The Longest Yard (for sports junkie like me)

2. Madagascar (ali G was the most notable, as usual)

3. Rock School (don't send your kids there)

4. Fantastic Four (wholesome family entertainment)

5. War of the worlds (nothing stellar)

6. Charlie & the chocolate factory (purely for the special effects)







Turkeys

1. Elektra (overrated)

2. XXX: State of the Union (vin diesel, this ain't)

3. Mr. and Mrs. Smith (it's all about brad & angelina)

4. Stealth (what storyline?)

5. Into the blue (the point of the movie is jessica alba in bikinis)

Ending theme for 2005 ...

When this blog comes out, I would probably be away to a beachside resort with my good friends, celebrating the end of a fruitful year and popping the champagne to usher in 2006 ...
I think I shall end my 2005’s blogs with an added dosage of love and guess where I found the inspiration? From the people I met, the movies I watched, the observation on people during my sabbatical and also contemplation on my life. You must have read my previous cut & pastes on roses … one of the arch components for communicating love … hope you enjoyed them and may find them useful. Now, let me share with you on my thought for our theme …. Love …

Another movie review - Luv on the rocks

When I picked up ‘Love on the rocks’ by Louis Koo, Charlene Choi and Gigi Leung … it did not cross my mind that I was about to watch 2 consecutive movies themed around ‘Dr. Love’ cures … especially when the last movie I watched was Hitch.

But, I immensely enjoyed it … as I savoured yet another great performance by Charlene Choi … and I can’t get enough of her, where she first impressed me in “All about love” … and this time coming on as the irrepressible Dr. Love for Louis Koo’s character.

It’s a fact that love & approaches to it differ from one individual to another, but if you are an Oriental male, who’s entirely clueless about ‘What women want’, you might just grab a few useful tips & perspectives of love from this movie, in fact them being more practical compared to Hitch.

The main male lead plays a stereotype of an insensitive man; the typical practical dude who has zero idea of romanticism a plays by the book B&W. Unfortunately, his partner in Gigi Leung, is the classic incurable romantic, hence the recipe for disaster. Enter the adorable love guru, Charlene who rhapsodize the A to Z of love for our bedazzled hero.

Listen & learn my dears …

Being romantic is remembering it for the rest of your life.

Being romantic is being reckless, being adventurous

Being romantic is being unrealistic, and not being serious

Women like the whole world to know that a man would shed all dignity for her, love her with all his heart

Visit your past loves to understand what you have done wrong.

My conclusions? Sigh. What enlightenment. I realized that I have been too selfish; it’s I the end all about me. I have been too logical; everything must make sense & hold a bigger picture. And as the guru said, if you are not ready to shed all dignity for your lady, you are not ready to love her with all your heart.

Of roses & the numbers game

One stem means only one

Two means a world of 2 people

Three means I love you

Four means undying promise

Five means no regrets

Six means happiness & satisfaction

Seven means endless good wishes

Eight means please forgive me

Nine means eternity

Ten means perfection

Eleven means one heart, one mind

Twelve means heart to heart

Of roses & the colours of love

Red - Love, Beauty, Courage and Respect, Romantic Love, Congratulations, I Love You, Job Well Done, Sincere Love, Respect, Courage & Passion

Red (Dark) - Unconscious beauty

Red (Single) - "I Love You"

Deep Burgundy - Unconscious Beauty

White - Purity, Innocence, Silence, Secrecy, Reverence, Humility, Youthfulness, I am worthy of you, Heavenly

White - (Bridal) Happy love

Pink - Appreciation, "Thank you", Grace, Perfect Happiness, Admiration, Gentleness, Please Believe Me

Dark Pink - Appreciation, Gratitude, Thank You

Light Pink - Admiration, Sympathy, Gentleness, Grace, Gladness, Joy, Sweetness

Yellow - Joy, Gladness, Friendship, Delight, Promise of a new beginning, Welcome Back, Remember Me, and Jealousy, "I care"

Yellow with Red Tip - Friendship, Falling in Love

Orange - Desire, Enthusiasm

Red and White - Given together, these signify unity

Red and Yellow - Jovial and Happy Feelings

Peach - Appreciation, Closing of the deal, Let's get together, Sincerity, Gratitude

Pale Peach - Modesty

Coral - Desire

Lavender - Love at first sight, Enhancement

Orange - Enthusiasm, Desire, Fascination

Black - Death, Farewell

Blue - The unattainable or impossible

Single in any color - Simplicity, Gratitude

Red Rosebud - Symbolic of purity and loveliness

White Rosebud - Symbolic of girlhood

Thornless Rose - "Love at first sight"

Taiping revisited

It's all coming back to me now ... clearly ...

I love taking walks down memory lane … just to wrap myself in nostalgia & draw upon the good old times I’ve had … things always seem so vivid and almost recent, that the experience is ironically at the tip of the mind, yet separated so far in time & space.

That’s what my trip to Taiping was all about … memories of my travels during university … visiting the many places, chanced upon by my constant forays through the then magical network of AIESEC friends. Glancing back, the trip to Taiping was full of great memories and yet, it was never planned … more of an accident & addition to the road trip I took.

So anyway, I wanted to drop by Taiping for a long time … and it was in my road trip … so yesterday, me dad, mum & myself chugged off Penang after breakfast … heading south for the famed town of tranquility …

It’s been a while since I went to a zoo, and one with my parents, so it was great to look out for the animals under scorching rays of an unusually hot December day, too bad it wasn’t cloudy, which would have been perfect. It is fun to leave behind the adult thinking & for once just whisk around gazing at animals like kids once again.

Coming to my favourite topic … food … and it was good to hunt for the famed Yat Sun restaurant on Jalan Pasar (Market Road), which housed the famed Roti Sayur (toasted bread, garnished with vegetable & gravy) and the flooded chicken chop under the ceilings of post colonial shop-houses, it’s really something I immensely looked forward to.

Now, the dampener was not being able to take upon the Maxwell Hill (known now as Larut Hill) … and since it was too early (& hot) to stroll along the paths of the lake gardens, we just took breathtaking photos there. Check them out over here!

The conclusion of our short excursion was sweetly capped with the quenching & refreshing red-bean drink to wash down the preceding lok-lok at Toh Kay Beng Road … simple & yet, something I don’t find in everyday city life … again nestled under the roofs of buildings from a bygone era.

Leaving Taiping, it certainly refreshed old memories & installed new ones … until, as they say … the next time.

At Taiping Lake Gardens

It's great to be back in Taiping, 7 years after my 1st visit there ... by the lush greenery, the pristine lakeside, the slow pace ... it's like time didn't move it too much ...

Review: Hitch

The cure for common man?

It’s been a while since I last have this feeling. It’s kind of hard to explain. Then again, I always find connection with the movies I watch and the strong connections translate into feelings.

So what do I like about Hitch? Yeah, it’s kind of old movie for someone to watch in December 2005, and I procrastinated to watch this for sometime, even though my male buddies have frequently asked me to watch it. So, on a rainy & lonely night, I just completed watching it. Glad to have done it, yes, finally (with a broad smile on my face)

The movie is oh-so-relative to me … and when I see the fat guy (Albert) go for the model, my reaction was spontaneous, and yes, “Oh, yeah, like right, huh? Get real”. That was evil, really unkind of me … but like they all say, what goes around, comes around. Reality? I see myself in Albert. Ouch, but true … truth hurts huh?

Despite my snappy executive suit & bossy persona in work … somehow, I cannot cut myself into that smooth, stylish & attractive guy … oh no … I know just what I am … a mindless fool thinking of the person I have fallen for, thinking of her each minute, stealing glances when she passes by, and worst of all, trying to put up all this cool me, which I am not. No, I am the fool … the honest fool … and if I would have it my way, I would like to be just honest & tell her … I like you, no wait, I like you a lot.

But you know what? Fools like me listen too much … fear too much … think too much. And thus, the damsel gets lost or worse, swept away by some fool, perhaps not smarter, not always better, but just jump into it. Is there any plan in love? Well, in Hitch, it does pay not to follow what your guru says and in fact, you might even teach him a thing or two in return when you do your own stuff. Ironic but true. Sigh.

The best part is that Hitch is all about many simple things which you would already know had you read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and piece the missing pieces from common sense. It also reminds me that by contradicting the simple stuff, I had screwed up my opportunities in 2005 and as I start anew in a new city & company … I guess I am fortunate to just lock the past in my closet & move on.

We & our friends might think we know it all, but we tend to forget fundamentals. That is why we should watch Hitch; it is indeed the cure for common man.

A getaway like no other

“When I first stepped on Japan, I felt a constant touch of déjà vu; everything looked so familiar, everything was an immediate connection, as if this was my past life”
~ By a family friend

Words as such are often hard to buy, especially when you hear form others, easily disregarded for individual whim, but I had several places which I have a personal connection with. And strangely, they were so familiar as if I had been there my lifetime, knowing where to turn, feeling an instant relation to the place.

For example, when I first stepped into Bratislava, and Budapest, the roads I saw just flashed upon me like from a previous dream, same went for several places in Malaysia, like Cameron Highlands, Malacca, Singapore, Taiping and Penang.

While I do not really see these places each day, but it brings a good feeling to be there … especially going through the places that flash vividly in my memory …

When I had this 1 month sabbatical … it was hard to determine where to go, due to price, timing and my other commitments; I knew a holiday was very much warranted, however, fixing on one was difficult. In my previous sojourns from work, I chose Penang mainly because I liked the place, the place and the special connection I have, so it was always a back-up choice for me.

It’s good to be on the road in Penang town, looking at the old streets which I went as a student years ago, eating at the places I was introduced, to buy DVDs like the old times. Sigh.

Being here for the past days have been good … although it’s not like some holiday where I am in some exotic place faraway & experiencing something new. No, I kind of know & been to most of the main places, so going there is not a choice. If I had went to some new destination, I would spend most of it chasing the unexplored places, going at a pace & not to do some important things like reflection, digesting my thoughts & of course pursuing my blog.

In Penang, I had the absolute liberty to do these, to enjoy good food, to relax at my own pace, to have internet connection at all times and also company as I please, where I can call several friends to catch up.

It’s enjoyable to watch DVD all day, go to the shopping mall to hang out, hunt for good food as I wished and to observe life at a different pace from Kuala Lumpur.

I have been thinking a lot about my future, about several people, some I have known for a while, some quite recently … my career & life plan, it’s all about revising the goals. Still searching for some answers, after all, my 5 year plan is ending soon, so some components are still missing to reach them … are all my achievements & efforts building up towards there? A relationship? My own company? Luckily, this getaway had given me the time to search it all out within myself.

All these, I guess is manageable, because I am at ease with my getaway in Penang …

Ps. Thanks Ed for the hospitality!!

A Christmas wish

This year in 2006 ...

“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special”

~ Last Christmas (I gave you my heart), by Wham & George Michael

Today’s story is not about me and the wish is not a wish for me. My heart is ravaged, not by (yet another) heartbreak but sadness.

I believe in every person’s lifetime, will emerge a soul so pure, innocent, kind, nice and angelic … these are the precious little souls whom we would like to protect from all the evils and contamination of humankind. In my past 27 years, I have come across several & C’s one of them; the first encounter was like “Wow! Are you for real?” and that’s what drew me to her character.

For a while our friendship drifted apart; while it survived the idealistic days of AIESEC, it did not survive career and I lost touch for a bit. But for moments when we did catch up, it was good to talk to someone who had always a much more optimistic approach to life and a positive outlook (& often lessons) for every down.

However, as we all know, time & tides do change people and adulthood does reshape the perspectives of even the strongest optimist, and at this time, it holds very much true.

Not too long ago, at a time when I had long chats with C, I remembered one about life, destiny and partners in that journey of life. It was heartwarming that C could envision the perfect life that normal beings pursue, which is to have a successful career, family and purpose driven life. Even the pessimistic & devil’s advocate in me had to agree that life does have its silver lining worth sacrificing & waiting for.

In our most recent discussion after a while, it was good to meet C once again, and indulge ourselves in a discussion & catching up on lost times. We have both reached crossroads of our young lives & career, so we share some stories about our challenges, our triumphs and lessons. I felt that she had grown up a lot … mostly in the sense that she has seen more of the real harsh world and taking everything in stride, still optimistic, but maybe a little ragged and tired of corporate politics.

Now, what shocked me was her declaration that she would never want to get married or in a politically correct definition, a formal relationship. After some jokes & nudging, her stand was verified and interestingly, she reached a conclusion that in today’s world of divorces, broken families and unstable marriages, was there any point at all or hopes for the perfect family & couple?

Honestly, that point did stun me, not for that the fact was wrong, but for it to come from her, must have been a harsh interpretation, especially coming from an optimist. She drove the point that people today are more promiscuous, less loyal and selfish, so who am I to argue since I was always an advocate that today’s morals is in stuck deep in society’s muddy backwaters? I have seen relatives, friends and acquaintances torn apart from the moment they sold their soul to the devil in the name of power & wealth, and even at times, I wonder if the strength of humankind has compromised its integrity? And after so many unsuccessful times, is it possible to find the one true heart?

Close to our parting point, we made an interesting bet that she would get married eventually and it is a bet I would like to win, because she is a great person, a sincere heart and worth her weight in gold, and deserves an equal to share a life with her.

And as quoted by Aragorn from the Return of the King, “There will be a time when we give up on humanity, but it shall not be this day” and from the people I have known in my journey, there are many others of true hearts; people who are sincere to you, people of the same values & direction in life, people worthy of sharing our journeys.

In the true spirit of a believer, I make it my Christmas wish for this year that you will find your true heart. Some day, some place and most of all, someone.

May life be not of ‘last Christmases’, but Christmas for your lifetime …

Seasons cheers,
Jay

Sharpening the human mind

The 7th habit


2 woodcutters went for their grind, one chose to head west and the other east. The one who went west was a very hardworking person & wanted to do his best for his family, therefore he toiled hard all the way without break as he felt he was strong enough. However, as he went on, the task became harder & less efficient.

The other was equally hard working, but he took a break at mid morning, and during the break, he not just replenished his energy, but also took time to sharpen his axe. By lunch time, he managed to complete double of the other guy.

How did this happen?


I know this was a feature I wrote not too long ago, but I am bringing it up again is that this became a hot topic during my 14 day sojourn from work. Quite many people I know have he tendency to work & work & work, and I am not talking about those with a job, but those who are moving jobs, and they start with urgency. Almost all of them are lamenting that they should have taken a break & started the job later.

In fact, some of them felt at a stage of burnout and lost their passion & drive to work. The same went for my friends who have worked non-stop, being those who have not ‘reimbursed’ their annual leaves for some time (they have accrued up to 30 to 40 days) and that’s crazy.

The analogy above is as powerful as it’s simplicity; and the human body can only do better with a rest, and even machines need it’s day off for maintenance. Covey has even analyzed that the greatest leaders take time to sharpen their axes, and we as fellow humans, are not exceptions to that ingredient for success.

The mind needs to take a break from one thing, which is why doctors & scientists have always advocated for a mix of work & play, hence, all work & no play makes Jay a dull boy. Even more, the mind is not just a machine that keeps on raking in information, as a computer can easily cover this function. It’s even more than that, it encompasses a capacity to not just digest information, but summing it from a holistic view and binding the smaller pieces into an amalgam of ideas, practices and values.

But to do that, we need to give it time & space, and the only way is to take breaks. Detach ourselves from work from time to time.

This is the art that successful managers & leaders perfect.

Going for full monty

Turn back the clock

A step back in time …(hummed along the tunes of Johnny Hates Jazz, 'Turn back the clock')

17th December 2005 – a day I stepped into the backwards of time and recaptured a lost era of my lifetime … through my school reunion … ten years after leaving the beloved corridors of my alma mater, SMSJ.

It’s amazing to step into the dinner at Holiday Villa that evening, seeing the old school mates, and to know how the others have moved on, especially when I took a path less traveled and lost touch with everyone else. We have people from all over, Switzerland, London, Australia, Dublin and many other destinations, which very much reflects upon the wonder of being a part of the Subang Jaya community, the can-do spirit and of course the rich & privileged people.

What I mean to say is that, despite where we all are now, far or near, married or available, rich or poor … all our paths are traced back to the same place … the old stomping ground, the hallowed halls, the distant memories & sounds that used to fill each day of our lives at one point. The trials, lessons & triumphs from a juvenile, yet fundamental part of growing up in the small world, sheltered from the hardness and real world outside.

Of course, looking back gives the already mentioned nostalgia & paths, but much more than that should be also the teachers whom I met again … and it is indeed true that these are the people who gave their lives in contribution & development of the future leaders in society. It’s much more than just academic education; it’s about shaping the way we all think, the values for hard work, for integrity, for honour and lessons in preparing us to step out of the walls in school. In retrospection, I owed a lot to them for whom & where I am today.

For a long time, I felt leaving SMSJ was the best thing to happen to me because since then, I have blossomed into the confident & outgoing me, which is a vast contrast to my nerdy & shy guy persona then. But to be back there, gives me the good feeling & assurance that there’s a place for the old me, whenever I wished to take a back seat. It’s a warm feeling when we are comfortable with whom we are.

Aah!

PS. It was cool to hear the old songs from the bygone era played from the background; the NKOTB, Johnny Hates Jazz, etc.

Endorsements

I got some formal endorsements for my work in Marcus Evans and here they are ...

“Jason is a fast learner, showing great results after being in the position for just a few months. indeed at anytime, he is ready to take on any challenging tasks given.” (December 6, 2005)

– Eric Chua

“Jason, what can i say about this dude. Well he is a real genuine kind of guy. Very hardworking and very dedicated to the cause. But dont get this guy wrong, he know how to have a good time and let his hair down. This guy rawks on... good luck at your new job....” (December 5, 2005)

– Brian Pereira

“Jason and I have worked in a team. He is a person who leads and guides towards success. A knowledgable colleague who is always at assistance. A self driven employee who constantly meet deadlines. In summary, a team player who I always enjoy and look forward working with. I would strongly recommend him for his dedication towards job and his vision for success.” (December 5, 2005)

– Saravanan Nallappan

“Jason is a great colleague to work with, I have had the pleasure and privilege to work with him for the past year or so and he has been an example to all of us in terms of his dedication and sheer work ethic. I can think of no other person I would rather work with than him. I also know that he is and would be a tremendous asset to any company or firm.” (December 5, 2005)

– Praveen Nair

“Jason was my team-mate and used to sit right next to me. Not afraid of putting his points across, he has a positive work attitude, exerting aggressiveness, often quick-thinking and displays a great zest for living! Trust him to get a good job done!” (December 4, 2005)

– Sharon Liew

“I knew Jason since uni days through AIESEC and he has always been a natural leader with great management skills and sharp analysis on things at hand. With his focused mind and gush of enthusiasm in achieving his goals, Jason will not only get the job done, but with perfection. He's a great asset to any company that he's working in.” (December 6, 2005)

– William Chong

“Dynamic, prudent, street smart and humble. A leader with a creative management style.” (December 6, 2005)

–Au Kar Wai

“Highly recommended for his ability to solve ad hoc problems and managing team. Not many survive in his team, but for those who did,is for sure of certain quality and calibre and definitely an asset rather than liability to the company...credit goes to Jason for his excellent leadership skills and training provided!!” (December 6, 2005)

– Elly Beh

“I have worked with for nearly a year as the Manager of the production team for China. With approximately 50 events in China for 2005 the workload is demanding and difficult. But Jason has managed to deliver a high quality conferencing product for a difficult and changing market.” (July 1, 2005)

– Rod Gowrie-Smith

2006 - Resolutions & achievements

Looking back

I had a quick look at my resolutions for 2005 and it’s good to note that they have been reached:

> Get promoted & pay rise (above what I expected)
> Get a car
> Change the lives of 20 people (it’s more actually & I have the testimonials from them)
> Progressed positively in my MBA
> Contribute back to AIESEC, which I did with an exchange student review & training/workshops
> attended more outings with friends & socialized more
> traveled to India & China for work
> worked on a regional & congress conferences by the end of 2005

It's been a great year and now as I take a break, I am able to see for the 1st time what I have done over the past 2 years and where I can head with all I have achieved & acquired from these times.

What I did not achieve:

> Reduce my weight
> Travel to Europe

Both are my perennial struggles each year, but travelling to Europe was really hit by my (unforeseen & pre-mature) promotion, whereas the weight thing is becoming an oxymoron ... sigh ... it just doesn't bite on me ....

Compromises

> Bought a new desktop, when what I wanted was a notebook

Disappointments (but not discouragements)

> 3 people quit under my tutelage
> My old boss left my company, hence reminding me that everyone is expendable

I think this lot balances the good stuff well ... and to remind me of things I should be wary of

Things I have learnt this year

> Macro & micro manage people
> Lead a team within itself & externally with others
> Balance work & studies
> Let go of the most disappointing personal & professional failures
> How to dispose personal bias & accept individual differences (something I am glad to unlearn & learn all over)
> Plan strategically in a corporate perspective (quite different from the fluffy stuff we do in AIESEC)
> Career planning & motivation for my team
> Knowledge management for department

I think the best things in this area is mostly about unlearning the things I learnt & reinforce the beams & pillars with stronger & more relevant ones to this moment ... and while my experiences in Singapore & Slovakia gave me the foundation for many things, it's time to adjust them to local conditions and shape out my bias / former working styles to bring higher effectiveness to myself.

Fun things I have done this year

> Jumping from plane to plane to work
> Managing rescue projects
> Attending the MC gatherings
> Reading more & spending more time relaxing
> watching back more DVDs and series

I realized that the things I enjoyed doing were on both sides of extremes ... from hard core work to full relaxation stuff ...

Things I want to learn in 2006

> Staff retention & proper interview / selection
> A new market an managing it successfully through work
> Organization finance management
> pick up a new hobby by the end of 2006, hopefully dancing

My last one is kind of ambitious, but hopefully something I can do because it's top of priority after my MBA ...

Resolutions for 2006

> Finish up my MBA
> Hit the 10k salary mark and 100k annual gross salary
> Size down to 70 kg
> Make my trip out of SEA
> Change the lives of 20 new people
> Purchase my own house

I always maitain a simple list of resolutions ... tough, but achieveable and fulfilling. More emphasis on my weight ... and would like to beat my worst procrastination ...

Much ado about self confidence …

To err, with confidence

Writing this episode really tickles my fancy cause recently a testimonial on Friendster sparked off a reply of concern from my faraway sister. But luckily, it’s nothing too big a deal … so here we go …

DY - I still hope that one day, he will be more confident about the way he look as I always said...not every girls will go for Ricky Martin, Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt.

ST - I can't believe my dear kor kor is not so confident with his looks! Well, he is not some handsome beach hunks, but he has a charisma of his own.

(Quotes have been truncated for brevity)

Dude, don’t worry about me … I am never really concerned about my looks & it’s magnetism (or contrary) to ladies. Fact is, I can’t really care too much about what general public say about me (other than work stuff, which I still take with a pinch of salt) and the truth is that I am more concerned about rejection and hurt … this is what has been stopping me from exploring relationships deeper. Will either work on me to be tougher or maybe wait for someone who makes the 1st move (it’s the 21st century after all)

Anyway, it seems like my sister knows me well enough … and thanks DY … my ever supporting friend … don’t worry … I will work on my single & available status, just give it time because finding the right person is also about being in the right place at the right time and most of all, the right person.

Conclusion? Self confidence comes from how well you know yourself, how well you accept yourself and how willing you are to admit to your mistakes & learn from them.

I know myself well enough and while I know my fear of rejection is a factor, I am confident that I can counter it in due time. Everything happens for a good reason.

just Jay

Movie-olics anonymous ...

I was always a undeclared movie-olic … and for those of you who know me, there’s nothing better than to watch movies, regardless new or old … in fact it’s best to watch bits & pieces of past favorites in spurts or clips of the movie’s best parts.

Even my housemates & parents don’t understand why I like this (they would ask me why do I keep watching the old movies in parts), so I was quite happy to discover recently that someone else I know happens to like this too … and she’s also a big buyers of DVDs & watches the old movies … indeed a small world 

How did my addiction start?

When I went to work in Singapore, life was kind of boring without TV, so each weekend I would go to JB and buy lots of DVDs … first with 2-3 (later by 10s when I discovered the economic power of scale) and it was a joy to have alternative entertainment.

Stopped the habit since coming back to KL … cause the DVD sellers in Subang (actually, KL) are cheaters … they sell low quality movies when promising best quality (honest businessmen are hard to find, I mean honest, let’s not bring in the question of ethics) … so dropped the habit also cause of my heavy duty schedule for both working & studying

Until recently, I found a new haunt to buy them in KL … and at best quality … seems like I am back to my old habits … for the moment

Movie review: All about love

Love’s everything to do with it …

If love were to be masterfully crafted into a poignant mix of loss, rediscovery & redemption no other would be more worthy of such representation, than Daniel Yu’s – “All about love” by Andy Lau, Charlie Yeung and Charlene Choi.

Love takes a heart-wrenching turn in the cocktail of innocence, death and chance because you have to be heartless not to shed a tear in this simplistic story of short-lived love in two men’s lives, bounded by the strange fate that both their ladies shared the same heart, with the former as a donor.

The absolute feeling I felt was something like this … the tinge of sadness in my heart, a little of pity, sadness & sympathy … it’s so sad like when I last watched the movie of someone dying young, an the irony of life taken away so young, so much life unfulfilled and love so innocent & pure … it’s that sad and unlike anything … perhaps coming closest would be ‘Fly me to Polaris’.

And it’s very much also about grieving the loss of a life & love that was taken for granted and having it taken so suddenly is very much sad when we hang on to it, not knowing how to move life on.

Even if you ever felt this movie is not so ‘All about love’, do watch it because it’s definitely something about it and nudges a soft reminder that life is fragile after all and love’s what life is worth living for.

Dear myself,

Wednesday, 14th Dec 2005

It’s been days since I last wrote in my blog. In fact, none at all since my self declared ultimate freedom on Sunday … after my HRM paper; ah, the bliss of freedom.

Quite a few things happened, though nothing very groundbreaking.

One, my life has been a constant flutter of social activities, from lunches, dinners & late mornings (no more getting up at 0530 hours) …

Two, I acquired 16 DVDs at a good price of $6.50 each and at DVD quality too in KL … been quite sometime since I bought that many (more prevalent during my socialistic lifestyle in Singapore). Now, it’s my vengeance on DVDs as I devoured 8 so far and with half more to go … I am a movie freak after all.

Three … thinking of my holiday, next week I will be going off for a road trip and with some loose ends to cover up this week, including settling my pay, new place, etc.

Now, coming on to my thoughts, besides burning my time away, I also spent some time to reflect upon my past 18 months in Marcus Evans and thought a lot about what I have done, the good, the bad & the ugly … it was good to look back and think of the angles I have learnt during those times. Some were very good innovation & change, some were bad moves and the rest are actions with fruits still in bearing, just that I will not be there to reap the harvest. But at the least, learnt how to do it and guess that was a good lesson to pack along.

Bulldozing forward
Also thought much about where I am now at this point of my life, what I have achieved, where I am heading & the people in my life.

At 27 years old, ad for the pay I am receiving, I won’t say that I am really somewhere; it’s just about the same as the rest of my peers who graduated the same time as me. But if looking at me starting my career in less than 3 years compared to theirs of 5, I guess it’s not too bad and on the mend to chase them. In fact, optimistically, looking to overtake them by the end of this year & that’s me I guess, the ever competitive & ambitious bloke.

Now
2 years ago, I planned my vision for life and a 5 years plan. At this moment, I can say that my plan is in sight and yet, also a lot of opportunities have opened through the space of 2 years. But more importantly, it is personal vision and plans that benchmarks you from others because it is about waking up each day, handling every down and pushing myself forward … driven by the fact the vision I implanted within.

A purpose for my existence
A lot of people I know are lost, de-motivated & disillusioned because life has become too process-like, too mechanical, routine and lack of a spark. You’ll know because the people I used to know as optimistic, brilliant and innovative have hit a drought because the working world is after all, too brutal, too hard, dry and realistic, that it stiffens ideas, dreams and murders the child in us. I know because I speak to people like this each day and they are all stuck in Maslow’s middle rungs of needs.

A shared journey
How does this affect people in my life? Every way & everything possible I can do, I want to bring them along, reach for something more and break away from the monotony in the order of society. They do not need to toil like the rest. They can all be empowered, no, they can empower themselves with personal visions, to see life and purpose in a bigger picture, and perhaps think again with the childlike innocence and dream dreams of larger individual purpose … then reach out.

At this moment, I do not sound like the Jason you hear in work (a lot more of the ‘crappy’ stuff you heard from me during AIESEC days), but I know myself deep down inside and my purpose.

Let me reach my 5 year goals so that I have the financial independence to chase my dreams.

With humble regards,
Jay

Blast from da past ...

My last thoughts for today … I swear I will stop writing … hehehe.

Anyway, very shortly … an old article of myself which came out in the Star [Saturday, May 31, 2003].

It’s entitled, Evolving overseas … about exploits by me & some friends who took a year off each to work in the AIESEC network. Check it out … brings back a lot of memories …

Ps. Not for those who might interpret this as a propaganda to promote myself, hahaha

At times like these ...

The last time I left Malaysia for a long period, it was not just a journey I embarked in search of myself, but also a step of breaking away from a blossoming friendship. While the relationship did survive the distance and a total time away of 3 years, it did not survive in my return and ended in tears. That’s my cover story some 10 months ago. Point is, since then, I have been totally obsessed with my career.

I know I am no longer the same naïve Jason people knew years ago, for sure less idealistic, more practical and more materialistic?

Have I forgotten the warm feeling of fighting for something which the outcome is unclear?

Have I lost the romanticism of bursting away with my feelings in the name of passion and love?

Am I so caught up in my pursuit for power, fame & richness?

Has reality in me turned stone cold?

At times like this take out the nice notes & e-mails that people wrote to me back from my AIESEC days, the heart warming notes asking me to reach out, telling me I am the best when I did not believe in myself, and many more which watered the seeds of greatness in me. I am reminded now that what I do now has a meaning, has a sacrificed value and with patience, I shall someday gain the balance in life which I desire. Until then, I must persevere and seek out my soul mate who balances out my other half in life. The paper chase must continue …

~ Let not the detractors pull you down the bucket of crabs, lest the way society is … after all, a bucket of crabs who pull down others who try to escape from the bucket ~

Thoughts ...

Narnia comes off tops!!

After watching the spectacle of Narnia yesterday morning, it can safely displace Harry Potter at the helm because no matter how we glamorize the infamous scarred forehead, HP, cannot provide the grandeur and classic feel of yesteryear from the long established Narnia chronicles.

For the fact that one, the CGI from Narnia beats HP anytime (the ugly mermaid and dragon) is no match for the Aslan Lion, Tumnus the fawn and the Minotaur. And Voldemort? His plastic disfigurement is no match for the Witch in Narnia, who has more, punch, menace and sass in TCON.

And to top it off, watching at 1030 hours is only RM6, which makes the whole movie a steal, especially when not many kids are around to watch it, can you imagine the sound of kids crying halfway through the movie?

So, hats off to TCON … and bring on King Kong. Mamamia …

Remembering farewells …

I remember my 1st farewell this week, 5th Dec 05, at Saisaki with my 2 angels … an it seems so ironic that our 1st dinner bought by me, is subsequent by the last, this time bought by my prodigies. Of course we are all different from who we were back then, but the atmosphere is still casual, though a little somber since goodbyes are more awkward than hellos. And while we chatted, I felt the sense of loss overcoming me, but at the same time, if I had to leave them at some point, the current one isn’t that bad because I have not only taught them what I knew, but also conditioned them to the process of thinking I desired (though no entirely that level yet). I guess someone else will continue their development, as someone else will continue mine.

2nd one … was lunch with Sharon, Karen, Foh Peng (aka William) and Boon at another Japanese restaurant (couldn’t remember this one), but the rice was good and I enjoyed the company … it’s more casual and with people I knew for a while & worked closely with. It was different because this group had a bigger view of issues in the company, and I was able to discuss (for somewhat one of the last time) over these. Brings back my smiles 

And the 3rd one was really something else, and I will remember it. The last time I went to a new food place with wonder and amazement, was the Turkish place at Heritage Place (with Yucheng, YP and sales gang), so as I walked with my bunch of friends (Dillon, Fiona, Liping, Sunitha, KW, Brian and Afida), we suddenly came to a quaint place with a little garden split by a small path leading inside (somehow it’s like Red Riding Hood) and suddenly we are in a little sanctuary dimly lit by candlelight, uncovering the contrasting colors of it’s walls. And yes, the music is SO off with the décor, it just does not jive in, but I guess this is why I remember it. The tofu was excellent, I remember that the most (but I won’t tell you why) and the beer really lightened up the atmosphere. I liked this group because we were all the same age group and most of us were at the same frequency (except for their penchant in clubbing, which I do not share) and ha some good laughs, especially about Dillon’s wooden humor.

My last lunch was with my China team, and its anther feeling altogether, more of the transitional feeling as I saw the team which will form the new face of the China production, which has drastically changed since I 1st joined. Ironically, we dined at a Chinese restaurant, adjacent to office, firstly because it’s the China team and 2ndly, because I have ever dined there although passing it many times. It was a fun & casual lunch as I smiled to myself to imagine how this group will transpire and reshape the business in China. But let’s keep the thought there, it’s no longer my concern.
My last night, started off with my last drinks at Carnegies downstairs and I just realized I have been there lately since my transpired move, almost every evening, just chatting the times away, while I still can.

I ended my Wednesday with a late dinner along with my old friends, Sujata & Praveen plus Amisha, his wife . Good old pizza hut to serve the evening … and how better than to talk about old times where I started out … in India? I just remember the good old stories and the sarcasm …

Marcus Evans? I shall remember … for always, the 18 months of my life.

Moving on ...

Today, I enjoyed my 2^nd day of freedom and it was spent like any weekend by going to 1-Utama and getting some relaxation as tune-up for my exam tomorrow. Yeah, time to flex my brain & exercise its thinking cap.

I thought of the people from office a lot since yesterday and I think it’s a feeling & attachment which is hard to let go after putting & journeying so much with the people & place. My team is enjoying a regional training at the Marriott for both days and they seemed to be having good fun as per my call with one of my angels today. That’s great. Just miss the buzz of having so many people at training.

Now I am thinking also of where to go next week, which I should confirm on Monday. Europe is a little out of the way for now, so just scouting for a quickie around the region. Kota Kinabalu, West Coast road trip or East Coast road trip are on the cards. Let’s see what turns out.

Part 2 - Memoirs of a producer

I once again saw another perspective of life in leaving over my past days in Marcus Evans, and it’s really all about whom we are and how we make differences in peoples’ lives, in both small & big ways.

Just a few days ago, my ex boss mentioned that if I have something similar to him, it would be the aura of flamboyancy I bring and I wonder if it’s true. But deep down, people have often mentioned that when I walk into a room or area, people tend to notice more, some people say it’s my steps, some say it’s my voice, some say that it’s the whole package all the way from walk to clothes. I dare not think it goes that far, but I would like to think that it hopefully brings some good aura.

Just me
Looking back a few years ago, some old friend advised me against putting up my trait of being overconfident, opinionate & loud, lest perceived as arrogance and coming across as not humble. But old habits die hard, so that was luckily transformed into using that as a strength and not weakness. Since then, I have been a model of confidence, leader, passion, motivation and voice of the ‘rebels’ and that has been a guiding star for my career until now. Perhaps the trick was always to moderate a balance with times of listening, taking a humble stand and the openness to admit mistakes.

Teacher & inspiration
Anyway, over the past days, many people dropped by to say their goodbyes and I was surprised that one even said that I was her inspiration and she draw that just by learning from the way I do things. But funnily, I operate on a simple model of being solution oriented, being not emotional and focus on compromises. JW just joined a few days ago, and my task before leaving, was to train her as much as possible for her new role and yesterday, she dropped me a mail to thank me for teaching her and she learnt a lot in a few days compared to the few previous months. While being flattered, I could not imagine that small things I do can create impact, because I thought of it was really insignificant. And the same goes for a few people who attended my earlier trainings 6 months ago, who drew a lot of thought & direction after my training, saying that my content was compact & practical compared to others. Is it? I don’t know. Perhaps the key of teaching & learning should be effectiveness, it should be all about how easily people can absorb and pick things immediately after the training.

When I watched my previous boss leave Marcus Evans, I greatly admired that many people took on his departure sadly and even people who did not wok with him, grieved his loss. The farewells, the words exchanged are amazing for someone who was here for barely a year. I did briefly wonder back then on how would mine be when my turn came.

It did, I had my share of long, wistful, funny farewells with people I loved at Marcus Evans. And I enjoyed & remembered every one of them and I shall write about them all over the next few days.

The bad guy
As I glance backwards, there has been many times when I made unpopular decisions, which were reacted with objections and disputes, but I guess these are all part & parcel of work, which I accept because I have been paid & entrusted by my company to deliver the best work & in their best interests. Sometimes, also for the best interests of my team as well. In a job, you cannot count too much to make everyone happy, companies are not charitable organizations & compassion is not always an option.

And yet amazingly, the same people that I battle with, left me with their best wishes, believe it or not, they understood now why I did these and were thankful that I made these tough decisions & stood my ground when others rejected or baulked at it. My favorite motto since young is that, someone has to be the bad guy, and it has been me or rather, I am willing to take that up. Perhaps this is my lucky star.

Lessons for life
I think the best & most naïve question I faced in this entire week would be … why leave? While it’s not that I hate people, it’s also not that I am not happy … people tend to forget that the only constant in life is change. People do come & go in different phase of our lives. Good people dwell in our hearts forever.

And opportunities do not flash twice, so when a better offer comes along, I believe that it’s crucial we just grab it and worry about the rest as life goes along.

Be sincere, give our best, do things with the best of intentions and let god worry about the rest.

Leaving Marcus Evans - Part One

6th December 2005 – Tomorrow will be my last day at work. Since my boss announced my resignation yesterday, my mailbox has been flooded with mails & also multiple calls from all over.

Guess the news was too shocking to people whom I have worked with. Here are some excerpts (all original content):

Dude,

Whate happened? I didn't give you enough attention?

~ Jonathan, Sales Manager, KL

darn...

what a big waste........ its a mourning day for all of us :'(

~ Boon, Sr. Sales Manager, KL

Yo. Means u ‘ll leave end of the day?

~ Jayson, Sr. Sales, KL

Hi Jason,

you're living?
wouah, how come! I will never have the chance to meet you ;-)
Well, thanks for Card who gives me my 1st deal in sponsorship!

~ Anne-Lise, Sr. Sales Manager, HK

Jason,

Best of luck in your new endeavors. Although we only worked together for a short time, I found you to be extremely approachable and professional.

I hope it all goes well.

Kind regards,

~ Jason, Sales Manager, Seoul

All the best mate, but we will miss good old aggressive and sarcastic Jason………..

~ Sagar, Asst. Sales Manager, Mumbai

Dear Jason,

Although we didn't really get a chance to work together, I was able to learn something from an experienced producer. "Think Critical". I think that is fundamental in our work. Thank you so much.

All the best to you. I'm quite sure that it is a hard decision for you but I'm sure you will be able to pursue what you are looking for. Take care of yourself. Again, congratulation, merci and au revoir!

~ Andrew, Producer, KL

Leaving ME? Apa ni?

~ Lilian, Auditor, PwC (consultant's opinion)

Dear Jason,

Bext of luck with HP.
Thanks for all the efforts you put together and try to make things happen for the China's team.

We'll catch up before you leave.

Cheers,

~Jay, Director, Shanghai

teletubbie! yp is only coming back on the 7th morning. anytime i can still catch up with you before you leave for singapore?

~ YC, Sales Manager, KL

Hi Jason,

Here's to my senior in SMSJ!
Best wishes for 2006 and beyond :)
Maybe you may meet my brother in HP Singapore too !
BTW, i'm just pondering...do you have a younger brother called Edward?

All the best,

~ Pei Chyi, Producer, KL

(To be continued … )

Much ado about love ...

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.

Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970), Marriage and Morals (1929) ch. 19

Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.

Erica Jong, O Magazine, February 2004

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

Is love supposed to last throughout all time, or is it like trains changing at random stops. If I loved her, how could I leave her? If I felt that way then, how come I don't feel anything now?

Jeff Melvoin, Northern Exposure, Altered Egos, 1993

To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.

Madonna (1958 - ), O Magazine, January 2004

He who is in love is wise and is becoming wiser, sees newly every time he looks at the object beloved, drawing from it with his eyes and his mind those virtues, which it possesses.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882), Address on The Method of Nature, 1841

Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simplier, but much less magical.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Chef Aid, 1998

2 weddings & an annoying question ...

I grew up together with my cousins, D & M. M is the eldest of the pack, and he’s always the brat of the pack, doing things which we don’t dare do, trend follower, going the extremist & condemning what others like. D’s the absolute contrast who portrayed a more conscientious type, with respect of what others thought, being a good example to his younger brothers, a moderate approach and always exchanging ideas diplomatically.

It’s amazing that people you knew as kids who grew up close to you as peas in a pod, will just drift apart because we each took different paths & of course in large families, complexities without tolerance or control only breed discontent.

Anyway, I would like to take that habits die hard in people even as they grew.

M was the first to get married, and when he did, it happened in the most odd situation; he had many girlfriends whom he spent a lot of his parents’ money on (can I use squander?) and the one he married was someone who just shot out of the blue and in the whirlwind, they got married in several months (news later leaked out as a shotgun marriage). There were other issues faced since then, but the point is that I think the proper attitude & approach to life will lead you to where you are. The last time I talked more to M, was when he was looking for a new job and he wants something with lots of money but simple work & the company, by the way, needs to be classy. Oh-my-gosh! These are the people I slaughtered mercilessly in interviews … luckily (or rather not) he was family …

Coming to D. Admirably, he took on a moderate path of religiousness and carved himself a successful path in education amidst bad times when he graduated and would say that he’s into a comfortable & settled lifestyle. Last night, he married his partner of his life for the past 4 years.

Here are some differences; when M married, his partner looked more dazed than dazzling during the wedding, despite the fact that the wedding was full of pomp and glitter. D’s wedding was with less pomp & definitely less glitter, but I think the best part of it was that when D looked into his partner’s eyes, you can see them really happy & can I say, connected? Wedding was simpler, had less glamorous guests, but the people present were close friends from his church & students. It’s heartwarming to hear that many people helped out in making it happen (of course not me since I am not in his primary circles now) and that his house was in a mess because his wedding went well not cause he spent a lot of money, but that many people who loved him, helped him make this happen.

I am writing this story because I thought a lot about the wedding last night and relating it to our past & characters. And yes, of that a marriage is a serious commitment requiring a lot of thought & passion, which I have neither thought in detail nor found the passion of my life. Another year, another wedding … and so I smiled because the older aunts (all kids married) asked my clan on when’s my turn to get married.

And at this point, I would like to share that in my life (at least in parallel with my cousins), has always been one with a different & if permitted to say, difficult than the rest. I lead the breakthrough by being the first to qualify for local university, first to work and first to take on national & international youth leadership roles (still no one to do this yet). Guess I would never settle for something mediocre or normal as others have done so far.

While I am not the wild child in M and nor am I the Mr. Nice Guy like D, I guess I am the more driven person for success all my life and I am relentless until I find that perfect combination. To answer that horribly nagging question, I just smiled, laughed & walked away.

Anyway, love will find it’s match in me …

Ps. Happy honeymoon D!

Baby snowdrops

3rd December 2005 - Do you remember your first encounter of snow? I remember mine in Romania when I got my 1st snowdrops … it was a joyous occasion for me, but sadly, as they fell, they melted just when they reached the ground. Guess the early ones never survive because the earth was not the right time.

Anyway, my declaration several weeks ago that love is over for me this year is fast becoming a distant memory & a challenge to fulfill. How so? Am I wrong again? Sigh.

I have always said that my most commanding feature of myself would be my body language & my eye contact. Someone, whom I have seen for a while but yet to know, suddenly crossed into my life recently. In office, I have always stolen & (sometimes) exchanged glances with some of the great looking ladies, and some are ice queens & some are reciprocal smiles & hellos. She’s someone quite good looking and it’s hard to miss her out, so one day, through a mutual friend, I was awkwardly placed with her over a meal.

For people who know me, you’ll shockingly find me dumbfounded, and lost for words because I was so struck by this occasion. Her smile, so sweet & captivating, and a fool like me just clueless. Absolutely brilliant. It didn’t turn out to be a massacre but not a fireworks gala either. Right, maybe it was not a right match.

Chance placed it another way that I met her during a drink and another and another … even so, I thought that chances could have been so, and did not think further about it. Until recently, a breakthrough in communication, somehow things have become warmer. Things definitely would not start somewhere if everything hinges on me because I am not good to make a move on someone.

And I am about to testify that it’s true you cannot judge a person’s demeanor with the hidden intention. Fate has it that I bumped into her again somewhere, yet, the initial reaction was chilly, so I thought it’s better to divert my attention elsewhere. Never thought that during the departure was a space for us to chat & the correspondence was taken forward from then. It’s great to know her better and fun to know the early impressions (and she’s absolutely right on her observations about me) … for sure that we both were not oblivious to the other all this time.

Funnily the office is small, but people are divided by a chasm until someone bridges it. Anyway, I am clueless about where this is all heading.

Again, I hope I am not misleading myself about anything, and hope I will not overanalyze things as usual. Take each day at a time to discover more & figure things out, about myself, how things will evolve …

Just be sincere & be true.

Is this an early snowdrop? Or the start of the white winter? Only heaven knows and time will tell.