Ramblings - Chicken & egg situation

I realize I missed out on some perspectives being who I am.

I am ambitious. I am greedy. I am a little power crazy. Since 2003, I’m now in my 4^th company … and each time I moved … it’s for better career prospect or higher pay.

In some ways, people told me it’s envious to progress quickly, so I enjoyed the acclaim. But each time I joined a new company … I started asking where I’d go next … least for HP, Marcus Evans & ABF. But the thirst & greed for more power & money leaves me moving all the time … and perhaps I am making money …

But emotionally … I’m sucked dry because I spend so much time building relations … and at some point where things don’t work out … I simply bailed out.

It of course does not help to have ready suitors offering me positions … or headhunting me, especially when I just joined my new companies as in for ABF & now.

It’s programmed somewhere that I have escape chutes ready whenever I’m ready to bail … and with more money. And because of my greediness for money & power … I’ve often thought of moving on to Singapore … lured by the pull of the hard Singaporean dollar.

Take my friend, KF.

He’s been in his company for the past 3 years (think almost 4). He has steadily grown there … he has built his network … and if we look in terms of emotional reserve, he has a lot in there. And he’s less greedy as me. Furthermore, he’s got a house, he’s engaged … so there’s a lot of certainty & direction in life than me.

At times … I feel lost … because although the direction is certainly up for career … but I can’t be certain of where & who because there’s the niggling thought that someone may tempt me with a bigger & better offer. And we aren’t even talking about solidity in personal life yet.

Hard as it may to admit, everything is linked to each other … being unstable in job is part of the reason why I was hesitant to engage in relationships. Being unstable in relationships, I was hesitant to be stuck in fixed jobs.

Being a chicken & egg situation … I think the perhaps best way is to make a decision & stick with it. So … as per my previous post … make commitments …to job … & settle into my own house soon.

Then perhaps I can cease envying KF & have my own space & hopefully enjoy the nice feeling of settling into a more certain direction …

Has to start somewhere … why not here & why not now?