2 weddings & an annoying question ...

I grew up together with my cousins, D & M. M is the eldest of the pack, and he’s always the brat of the pack, doing things which we don’t dare do, trend follower, going the extremist & condemning what others like. D’s the absolute contrast who portrayed a more conscientious type, with respect of what others thought, being a good example to his younger brothers, a moderate approach and always exchanging ideas diplomatically.

It’s amazing that people you knew as kids who grew up close to you as peas in a pod, will just drift apart because we each took different paths & of course in large families, complexities without tolerance or control only breed discontent.

Anyway, I would like to take that habits die hard in people even as they grew.

M was the first to get married, and when he did, it happened in the most odd situation; he had many girlfriends whom he spent a lot of his parents’ money on (can I use squander?) and the one he married was someone who just shot out of the blue and in the whirlwind, they got married in several months (news later leaked out as a shotgun marriage). There were other issues faced since then, but the point is that I think the proper attitude & approach to life will lead you to where you are. The last time I talked more to M, was when he was looking for a new job and he wants something with lots of money but simple work & the company, by the way, needs to be classy. Oh-my-gosh! These are the people I slaughtered mercilessly in interviews … luckily (or rather not) he was family …

Coming to D. Admirably, he took on a moderate path of religiousness and carved himself a successful path in education amidst bad times when he graduated and would say that he’s into a comfortable & settled lifestyle. Last night, he married his partner of his life for the past 4 years.

Here are some differences; when M married, his partner looked more dazed than dazzling during the wedding, despite the fact that the wedding was full of pomp and glitter. D’s wedding was with less pomp & definitely less glitter, but I think the best part of it was that when D looked into his partner’s eyes, you can see them really happy & can I say, connected? Wedding was simpler, had less glamorous guests, but the people present were close friends from his church & students. It’s heartwarming to hear that many people helped out in making it happen (of course not me since I am not in his primary circles now) and that his house was in a mess because his wedding went well not cause he spent a lot of money, but that many people who loved him, helped him make this happen.

I am writing this story because I thought a lot about the wedding last night and relating it to our past & characters. And yes, of that a marriage is a serious commitment requiring a lot of thought & passion, which I have neither thought in detail nor found the passion of my life. Another year, another wedding … and so I smiled because the older aunts (all kids married) asked my clan on when’s my turn to get married.

And at this point, I would like to share that in my life (at least in parallel with my cousins), has always been one with a different & if permitted to say, difficult than the rest. I lead the breakthrough by being the first to qualify for local university, first to work and first to take on national & international youth leadership roles (still no one to do this yet). Guess I would never settle for something mediocre or normal as others have done so far.

While I am not the wild child in M and nor am I the Mr. Nice Guy like D, I guess I am the more driven person for success all my life and I am relentless until I find that perfect combination. To answer that horribly nagging question, I just smiled, laughed & walked away.

Anyway, love will find it’s match in me …

Ps. Happy honeymoon D!