Especially for you

I love music, and especially love ballads. Therefore it’s not surprising for me to sing mostly love songs when I go karaoke-ing with the gang … and today was one of it.

What I like most are those that I can stretch my vocals, like “Because you loved me” from Celine Dion, “Always” by Aerosmith … like those la. My friends like to tease me when I sing them because I don’t have any partner now and they like to ask “Who are you singing it for?” especially at the start and at the peak of my rendition.

Can the answer to them be that I am practicing for the moment that I can finally sing it to someone special?

I would like to think of it as like that. Till then, the heart waits, and the words keep coming ... Sigh :)

Movie eview: Firewall

Having watched Firewall by Harrison Ford, left me in an absorbed daze … to imagine how fragilely others can simply pick up on our identities through rummaging of our thrash. But even more sinisterly, on how they can manipulate technology to grip upon us in conspiracy & corporate espionage … brings up too many questions about people, ethics & technology drawing the almost invisible lines.

Without giving too much away, it’s the bad guys holding the hero’s family at ransom at the price of our hero helping the goons nick a cool 100 mil at the click of the mouse. Amazingly scary too that the baddies are confident to draw 10,000 from each top client … but baffling all the same cause if they can draw 10k so easily, why not more? Confounding …

All the same, the movie displays the hallmark of all Harrison’s movies with lots of action, improvisation and twists. And as the story keeps unfolding slowly, the movie succeeds in keeping you on your toes cause we just don’t know what the baddie, Paul Bettany has up his sleeve. Think this is one of the movies to watch for the decent script.

Time & space

It’s amazing to think that distance & time can sometimes be a metaphor & alternatively, realistic. As such is the approach by various in love, is the amazing impact of space & time.

After seeing quite a few of people I know melt away their rock solid relationships due to physical & periodic separation, I myself thought many times that it takes a lot of commitment both in heart & mind to keep it alive. After all, as people say, out of sight is out of mind as opposed to absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The thing is … you tend to see things from different perspectives after being in a new environment or living independently from the other half for a while. Then, the freedom or new dimension will be threatened should the current return to the former. For myself, I know that my feelings for someone changed the moment I returned to Malaysia … I have just become someone else … and I moved forward, whereas I felt she had not.

But you know what? My good friend, UL proved us all wrong & despite he being away from NY for quite a bit of time (even now) … they are still going strong. I find it amazing and wonder what the secret is … suspecting that the only possible non-logical answer is love, which in logical terms may be best described as stubborn feelings that just remain solid even after all harrowing challenges? Ok, bad attempt, but you probably get the drift (hopefully).

In a more introspective way, I think perhaps the key to their relationship is the distance & space they allow each other. As Buddhist teachings elaborate, all humankind’s suffering comes from an attachment to a former … and while the feelings & commitment is there, there’s space for the individual to grow, with several principles as the backbone for the relation. I’ve never seen a lot of control over one another … and no vibes of that at all. That gives one to the other the space to try new things & explore, with the future not too determined yet and not too focused on physical togetherness, just on keeping the relation alive.

While I believe that each relation is unique, nevertheless this is a page from their chapter that we can draw upon positively.

Joy of giving back

When I first left the active world of AIESEC into HP, one of the things I promised was to come back as regular as I could to contribute back to the organization. This was my last promise after fulfilling the earlier ones of going for an international position & also traineship programme.

While many of my friends cite busy-ness (or should it be business?) and all that jazz … I guess it’s probably a polite way of saying, it’s not their priority to give anything back … and yeah, think so too … I still manage even with all my work & study. But even more, I read a story once about why we should ‘give back’ in some way to a segment of society we are in … the funny thing is that things will come back to us in unforeseen ways … including when we are just ignorant or apathetic against it. So, I always believed that it’s good to sow back the seeds of wisdom & success back to society … in view that many more would be touched the same way I was … perhaps this is exactly paying it forward?

Last night, I continued my role … done the 2nd project management training for UM … and I think that probably the quality is better, even if the theoretical component was missed out, in the sense that we focused more of the aesthetic learning & review of the simulation. I didn’t exactly share my point of view in detail, which I told Thency I would like to cover in other ways like other trainings & also some mentoring of the project groups.

It was quite tiring, to couple that with a mamak session after that … but I think the most important is that I am happy to start new seeds of learning & hopefully greatness in the people in there. And some of them will continue the cycle

Reminisce ... 2002

Into the fires of gambling

If gambling had a creator, it had to be the devil … cause it’s rightfully an extreme case for escalation of commitment, especially for losers. The more you lose, the more you get sucked in, unless you have discipline & self composure. And it can be a health hazard ...

Now, I wouldn’t want to face my alter-ego who dropped by last night during the bout of gambling with the MC gang.

It’s the return of the in-between and if I thought the previous night’s game was as vicious as the countless agonies of hitting the ‘post’, last night hit absolutely to the spot. In the space of 5 rounds, my losses amounted to RM220 … and as they say, there’s nothing more desperate than a man who’s lost his base for the game.

I knew the most evil part of me … both the angry & nervous one had come out … so I was quiet most of the time as the rounds passed by. Well, the situation just had me tested to the core cause my friend had sort-of taunted me by adding salt to the wound, as he took my cash & added to the kitty saying thank you very much & on another round, laughed loudly.

Sigh, the agony I felt & sort of anger cause I knew, what if I did it to him when he lost? I suppose that’s tantamount to provoking him; so I just kept quiet. But D was more perceptive (probably knows me better) and tried to shush Mr. Moronic off.

Made back my money in the end with some ‘breathtaking’ decisions … but my hands were shaking at one point cause it’s the ‘make or break’ point. But come to think of it, I supposed I can stomach it if others had lost more in the past 2 days and can make it back.


I think I can safely swear off the game for the rest of the year … too much of this is no good for me health. And happy also that I regained my composure … kind of embarrassed to think that I almost lost it. Sigh.

A good learning point besides the fun & anxiety throughout the game.

The UPM night out

To work one day in a week, especially on a Friday is quite a pathetic thought because a lot of things were frustratingly uncompleted, as others were away and at the same time, trying to do the most possible work for the week condensed into 1 day, especially in Chinese New Year mood. You know la, was glad to leave work when the time came and since I'm in KL, might as well enjoy the company of old friends ...

So, night out with the old UPM 98 AIESEC gang was at my favorite hangout, 1U … and at Italiannies, we stuffed ourselves with the appetizer, salad, pizza & pasta … just chat & catch up on the old gang, who’s who, who’s where, who’s what & the works … but we all knew it’s only a matter of time before we head to the REAL deal … our HQ aka Mama Chee’s … with a fast & furious game of in between … a game with not much wit or sly … purely & mostly on guts & breathtaking decisions … it’s either you bet on your luck or not.

So, the 1st round … played with less people … luck was bad … lost out 30 I think … but since more people joined … we moved to bigger premises … and with some luck … I rolled in some 150 bucks, not instantaneously, but gradually … but to win when everyone else’s luck are bad, it does draw flak & taunts … all in good jest of course, but still KENA big time la. The latest statement? The senior manager of the pack is bullying the rest by winning … hehehe … and that’s my own undoing cause I handed them my new name card last night …

But, my friends were certainly not letting me off easily for the night, not for the sweep … so we all went for some good old bonding activity, Malaysian style … at the local mamak (after unsuccessfully venturing to some coffee holes … it’s quite dumb for them to close at 0100 hours when business is still brisk, huh?)

After round three of banter … everyone started to look tired, so off we went … and was home by 0230 hours. OH-SO-TIRED me just dozed after my refresher …

Legend of the chinese zodiac ...

The legend was told many centuries ago, when the Chinese have not invented a time measurement yet. For it, the Jade Emperor (Emperor of Heaven) decided to call for a contest: a race! All the animals of the kingdom were invited to participate in this event that incidentally took place during the emperor's birthday. There will only be 12 winners. In order to win and gain a permanent place in the Zodiac Years, the animals must cross a swift current river and reach the designated spot on the shore.

While we are all aware of the hatred between a cat and a rat, these two animals were actually very good friends once. Good friends they may be, but these two animals are the worst swimmers in the animal kingdom. Although bad swimmers, they were both intelligent. They decided that the best and fastest way to cross the river is to hop on the back of the ox. The ox, being a naïve and good-natured animal, agreed to carry them across. However, when there is a carrot dangling in front, it is sometimes difficult to stick to friendship and the crafty rat decides that in order to win, it must do something and promptly pushed the cat into the river. Because of this, the cat had never forgiven the rat, and no doubt, hated the water too. After the ox had crossed the river, the rat jumped ahead and reached the shore first, and it cleverly claimed first place in the race!

Following closely behind was the strong ox, and it was named the 2nd animal in the zodiac. After the ox, came the tiger, panting away while explaining to the emperor just how difficult it was to cross the river with the heavy currents pushing it downstream all the time. But with powerful strength, it made to shore and was named the 3rd animal in the cycle.

Suddenly, from a distance came a thumping sound and out pop the rabbit. It explained how it crossed the river: by jumping from one stone to another in a nimble fashion. Halfway through, it almost lost the race but the rabbit was lucky enough to grab hold of a floating log that later washed him to shore. For that, it became the 4th animal in the zodiac cycle. Coming in 5th place was the gallant dragon, flying and belching fire into the air. Of course the Emperor was deeply curious as to why a strong and flying creature such as the dragon should fail to reach first. The mighty dragon explained that he had to stop and make rain to help all the people and creatures of the earth, therefore he was held back a little. Then on his way to the finish line, he saw a little helpless rabbit clinging on to a log so he did a good deed and gave a puff of breath to the poor creature so that it could land on the shore. The emperor was very pleased with the actions of the dragon and he was added into the zodiac cycle. As soon as he had done so, a galloping sound was heard and the horse appeared. Hidden on the horse's hoof is the slimy sneaky snake whose sudden appearance gave the horse a fright thus making it fall back and gave the snake 6th spot whilst the horse took the 7th.

Not long after that, a little distance away, the sheep, monkey and rooster came to the shore. These three creatures helped each other to get to where they are. The rooster spotted a raft, and took the other two animals with it. Together, the sheep and the monkey cleared the weeds, tugged and pulled and finally got the raft to the shore. Because of their combined efforts, the Emperor was very pleased and promptly named the sheep as the 8th creature, the monkey as the 9th, and the rooster the 10th.

The 11th animal is the dog. His explanation for being late although he was supposed to be the best swimmer amongst the rest was that he needed a good bath after a long spell, and the fresh water from the river was too big a temptation. For that, he almost didn't make it to finish line. Just as the emperor was about to call it a day, an oink and squeal was heard from a little pig. The term "lazy pig" is due here as the pig got hungry during the race, promptly stopped for a feast then fell asleep. After the nap, the pig continued the race and was named the 12th and last animal of the zodiac cycle.

(Original content)

Much ado about 121

You wanna do 121?
been asked to do 121?
clueless about 121?
some thoughts ...

121 … better known as one to one marketing … probably better known in forms like Multilevel marketing, direct sales, etc is a global scourge fleeting most parts of the world & demography, so Malaysia, or rather, my circle of friends is left without exception.

Now, I personally don’t quite like or can I say, ‘buy-into’ the idea is mainly because I don’t believe in the product, business model and probably the thought of scraping for small points / commissions everywhere.

You think of it, you got it … from Amway, Cosway, Genesis to something new lately (didn’t even remember cause I closed my mind off it) …

As I discussed with KK last Wednesday over mamak … it’s not that I cannot do it … but rather that I don’t have the drive to sell such concept. He was intrigued however when I supported him & suggested on the method to sell his service as a lifestyle … cause he was told to do it by his mentor, but could not come out with the right approach. In fact, he cannot understand why someone with no passion for this can think of it … but it’s really not so hard if we think I over.

Now, what makes 121 different from retail & online? Retail & online can in fact offer equal products at cheaper prices & greater purchasing flexibility & ease compared to 121; so 121’s focal strength lies more in it’s network & personalized service …

Then again, a service by itself does not stand strongly by itself as retail products are heavily supported by massive marketing campaigns & promotions, which in the long run also has a competitive advantage.

Henceforth, 121 should not be a one off sale or service if it were to serve sustainable B2C relations. In fact, it should hasten on the fact that the seller is a user as well to foster C2C relations and sell off the lifestyle marketing concept … which makes the brand more credible and simultaneously build loyalty to the brand & products.

To sum it up, 121 successes is best achieved through a sustainable C2C model.

So, good luck KK in your 121! (and also to anyone who reads this & finds this relevant)

Recollections - 1988

My first crush

Amazingly, even a nerd such as myself had his 1st crush as early as 10 years old … contrary to perceptions that my love (& only one) would be books, since classic nerds like me shun TV & anything un-nerdy …

But since these are secondary to the core story here … we’d better track back … ah yes … what I remember about my 1st crush.

Now, as you can be aware of the minds of boys at that age, they would shun all girls (not all females but mainly their peers) as icky, yucky & mainly gross. In classic Calvin-esque (quote Calvin & Hobbes) … the GROSS (Get Rid of Slimy Girls) club is the institution and any girl-hanging dude is tantamount to betrayal. Sounds familiar? I am smiling as I write this. Hehehe.

As I was not so much the trendsetter (more of follower), I was slow to pick up these vibes. Incidentally, the girl I took tuition with was the 1st to be nice to me … like inviting me as the only guy to a all girls party … made me a card (that was sweet, come to think of it) and (sort of) told everyone that I was her good friend.

Swell. As the ignoramus, I was over the moon for picking up a new friend (by doing nothing except being myself). And I returned a favour by plucking a flower for her. It was nice to think good things about someone I barely knew and I can probably classify this as a crush since I had a rush everytime she passed me. Amidst all the giggles of her friends too.

If my memory served me right, some snitch caught hold of this scoop and yours truly had to face the ‘tribal’ (more of malevolent) council … and was sentenced to an eternity of taunts for this … err … betrayal?

Now that was hard for a kid … and I guess we all knew the ending … me just childishly shrugged off the friendship.

But looking back … it’s funny to see myself in that situation and how I handled it. Not the best, and surely an experience to grow upon.

I miss you

muse by Jay


started with a glance, then glances
each time I stole a look, I lose part of me
but you didn’t know
feelings stale and lost as time passed,

so my true colors shown
wouldn’t care what
people thought of me
that includes you
since anyway, we are
minds apart
even though distance has
flirted at close ranges
so at that
I baulked within my own
comfort zone

but never knew that fate
would one day, cross
our paths

and yet, lady fate
churns irony with sweet
you entered my life
with sweetness and fate
tempted me with the
sweetness of
future & career

infatuation was
never since practical
as to paper chase
or say we that
greed suffocate the seeds of love?

and while your intentions
also reactions
were unclear, so
the question is
where do I
go from there?

now days have
passed on and I
am miles & minds apart
but I know now that
I erred but powerless
to reverse the
wheels of time
only wistfully to
say I missed you
no, it’s that I
miss you a lot

Jay's Photoblog

As people say, a photo itself is worth a thousand words and much as I believed in this phrase, my photoblog was born to blog simply on photos, today, yesterday ... but not tomorrow ...

So anyway, if reading my muses is dry ... or if you wish for something more fluid ... check this out ...

http://jayteohphotos.blogspot.com/

Cheers & see you around :)

Note: I mis-posted a photoblog in my main blog, but since it's here, we might as well just officially introduce my pet project, huh?

Long shots

Slovakia


At my welcoming party







At Nitra annual dinner







At Roska's farewell








At National Training Conference with the HR gang