House of glass

A gust of cold winter wind swiped my cheeks …

Just another cold evening in blustery Bratislava. Snow slowly dusts my shoulders with specks of whiteness. Most people would have thought of nice warm dinner back home. Not me.

From moment to moment, I drift away in thought … and in those seconds, my mind flew to my homeland. Its midnight now. She must be sleeping since its 1am now. Ah. But it was only hours ago we chatted before … but fond memories does lead my mind back to her.

Months ago … I left … without saying goodbye … without saying I was in love with her … why? Just me I guess. All my weird theories of reverse psychology … trying to avoid the pain of a long distance relationship. But in truth, what exactly am I building?

Ok. Bus’ here … step on it. Aaah. Some warmth … at last. Strange though because it was then I thought … why not enjoy the cold more since this would be my first & last winter here. Fickle me, she would say that. See, can’t get you out of my mind huh?

Wow, time flies … just a couple more blocks & I’m home. Was the bus fast? Naw, Slovak transportation is so accurate to the minute … it’s impossible. Just me & my thoughts.

Maybe I should stop at the supermarket 1^st. I’ve breakfast already but I crave bacon & eggs. In truth, it’s one of the simple pleasure I enjoy with my meager allowance … but then again, I feel content …

My turn to pay? Here you go, 100 Korunas …

Walking home … it’s not too near, it’s not too far … and waiting for a bus can get me home faster than walking, but just an impulse. Haha. I’m here living my dream & I should enjoy every moment of it … but why am I here? Does this journey have a meaning?

The building I walk by … it’s so dull … so unpretty compared to Malaysian buildings … but I know that beneath these walls, are people with warm hearts that lead perhaps more sincere & simpler life than many Malaysians I know. So much less of … pretence …

What’s this thought leading to? I love the life here … but still sometimes, it lacks some good stuff that only Malaysia has. Here I go again. Fickle & idealistic.

Home. Dinner … heated up. TV … nothing but MTV … there’s Mission Impossible, but in Slovak … sigh … choices. MTV then …

That’s it. My mind’s full of questions … but to dwell on the future is a futile exercise … but one thing is clear … rather, one question holds the key … are all the things I do now piling of foundations for the future … or just of house of glass … my delusions, my purchased deceit … foolishly daring to dream?

Mmmm … house of glass … my last thoughts before I succumbed to slumber …