Much ado about ... Marriage

Today, I read an interesting article about the institution of marriage & marriage for Malaysians today from the NST (Spotlight: D.I.V.O.R.C.E - Why more Malaysian couples are untying the knot)

Here are some statistics quoted from this article:

In 2004

o About 150,060 couples took marital vows

o 19,800 divorce cases were recorded, an increase of 4,561 cases compared with 2000.

o Divorce rate is highest among Muslims, with 16,509 couples – 83% of divorces in Malaysia

o Most divorces were caused by "irreconcilable differences" (41.3 per cent)

o "Irresponsibility" (16.5 per cent) was cited as the second leading cause of divorce

o Malaysians are opting to delay marriage, with most tying the knot around the age of 29 for men, and 25 for women

o 27 per cent of the population between the ages of 25 and 34 are single

Trends:

o The current generation places more importance on self

o More open to the concept of divorce

o Demise of the extended family, especially in urban areas

o Lack of a social support system amongst urban communities; urban families are disconnected from their relatives, and the impact on young couples with marital conflicts is greater

o Enormous pressure placed on women in a changing society; they have to deal with social pressure, pressure at the workplace and pressure at home. The expectations placed on them are higher. Women, having to multitask, have to deal with their role as wife, mother, employee or employer all at once

o Most cite financial problems, inability to find the right partner and career advancement as the causes for the delay

o More women opt to delay marriage to pursue higher education and increase their chances of getting stable employment. They want to be more financially secure before settling down

Issues:

Risks involved in pregnancy and birth increases after the age of 35

financial implications for men; if his first child is born when he is 30, he may well end up paying for his children’s education after his retirement

Conclusion?

The writer is deeply concerned about the state of marriage, not just from an institutional perspective, but also holistically from a social view. As quoted:

“Until and unless incomes are much higher and the support system stronger, these problems will persist. We cannot call ourselves a great country based on our buildings and our technologies, looking at development in terms of building and material possessions. We fail to look at the psychological impact of development on our society.”

I think the concern was always there … most people don’t think it was that severe or even consider marriage serious until they jump into it. But it’s not always as simple as jumping out of it as easily as other commitments, with a lot of emotional baggage & burns.

Don’t be a statistic. Consider it, really hard. Screw Nike’s ‘Just do it’ … you might end up saying, ‘Just screw it’ a few years down … like some people I know.