More of Kim Tae Hee

I've downloaded quite a couple of her pics & it just reinforces my thoughts on how lovely she is .... her smile is just radiating through ... sighhh

Idiosyncrasy - My dream girl

People always ask me to describe my idea of a perfect girl … what’s desirable … I know my answers are very inconsistent, perhaps the only thing consistent is someone who loves me, smart & complementing my character … but ladies have always dismissed this as generic & no helpful.

I won't say that I've got a good answer, but since the word is dream girl ... so wish as hard as I can … my dream girl would be Kim Tae Hee … the Korean actress who captured my imagination, admiration & adoration from Love Story in Harvard.

So, what about her that’s attractive? Let me count thee ways …

> very pretty, but even better, very sweet demeanor & looks … (OH-WOW!!)

> very smart, her IQ is very high & is the top student at Seoul National University (the best uni in Korea)

> she’s desired by many guys (now, isn’t it cool?)

But I guess this is PURE fantasy, definitely impossible to even meet her, let alone get her as my girl. So, wishful thinking, huh? But anyway, If you have no idea how she looks like, I’ve enclosed some photos … and you should check out her in some links:

Wikipedia

Gbreak

I'm sure after seeing her, it's hard to disagree ...

Modern Malaysian Women

One of the most discussed topics among people my age (or at least my circle of friends) is about marriage & settling down. Of course among the intricacies talked, includes the manner of how life would be then.

F28 is one friend, who constantly wishes that she can be the new age urban housewife, taking on the all-in-one mother package, which includes the traditional components of schooling, marketing & household, with the twist of adding modern ladies’ idiosyncrasies; going to spas, shopping & other basic luxuries … of course the MAIN question is … you need to have an extremely RICH husband to float such lifestyle OR you have to inherit some industrious dynasty OR just simply strike a lottery. Such lavish dreams, huh?

While I mock the topic in jest, I seriously for one advocate for such lifestyle … and in fact, taking view of today’s kids, whom I deem mostly as spoilt brats living a generation of over materialism & granted unsupervised wealth bequeathed from working parents who takes giving out money as a form of parental ignorance guilt redemption. Coming to the point, I would very much like to have my spouse (or even myself) to take a full time parental role to nurture my progeny.

Another friend, WY, just simply acclaims, “OMG, the article is about me??”. It's so HER, hor???

Interestingly, F28 shared with me an article from the Star, which interestingly reveal that the trend for marriage has started a reverse recently, where women are starting to revert to more traditional view about life after settling down & career … and the revolution stretches even to matchmaking. Just for your information, here’s an excerpt from the article; Meet the new Malaysian woman

The new un-independents: Over the last six years, we have seen a 24% increase in women who marry young (between 20 and 29 years). Matchmaking, an age-old tradition, is now returning with a modern twist and gaining increasing popularity with a number of dating services now catering specifically to successful professionals searching anxiously for love and belonging.

While not many have the financial support to actually retire, a remarkable 52% of our respondents admitted they had definitely "secretly fantasised about quitting their jobs and becoming a tai-tai". What is more, 66% agreed that "my life would be incomplete if I didn't have a man to love me." Said one interviewee: "I remember a time when my girlfriends and I would laugh about how our moms would badger us about finding a man and settling down. Now I see a few of my friends getting married, becoming housewives or baking cakes for a living and I think that's cool."

Taking view of this, I just can’t help but to smile about this all. I’ve lived through the generation of working couples, with kids parked at in-laws or at day cares (my mum being one nanny, so I have a peek at the lifestyle). Honestly, I can’t help thinking the irony of women reversing back to the role they left in the past generation & leaving the coveted role of the corporate superwoman.

To sum it up, I know it’s a matter of time before I hear Karyn White’s song on the airwaves again … Superwoman …

Early in the morning
I put breakfast at your table
And make sure that your coffee
Has its sugar and cream

Your eggs are over easy
Your toast done lightly
All that's missing is your morning kiss
That used to greet me

Now you say the juice is sour
It used to be so sweet
And I can't help but to wonder
If you're talking 'bout me

We don't talk the way we used to talk
It's hurtin' so deep
I've got my pride, I will not cry
But it's makin' me weak

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me, ooh, baby

Never forget ...

I read a touching tale of late through a mail I received & it’s something very much about the parody of the human mind, we tend to wander & get lost in our realms & fantasies. But consequences are often severe, lest we wander too far from our boundaries. So the question is, where do boundaries draw the battle lines?

Let’s take on this story (sorry, no accredited author) on the battle lines of the institution of marriage … with the parody of human minds … how weak we are to temptation, to the easy way out, to abandon our pillars in life ... read on ...

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although
it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my
entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt
in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.

Just me ...

Someone told me this week that it is normal for guys to keep feelings into themselves. That’s when I told her that she needn’t worry about me bothering her with languid stories of the turnings & turbulence in life.

And I thought again … because not too long ago, I would have loved to just talk things out to see what others thought or viewed the scenario. Then again, those were normal times when I was just a greenhorn in the workplace like everyone else.

But now, since my industry is so different from my friends, and not everyone is at a management level, I’ve found it hard for anyone to understand what my issues are. No one really understands.

So perhaps I’ve changed, and the cause is more of circumstance, rather than of my true character.

And oh, a little about work … when I left Marcus Evans, everything was kept in the dark about my change of mind to join the Asia Business Forum instead of HP in Singapore. Reason is, I was too passionate about the potential of this industry, where I’ve picked up skills & having potential to do a lot here. But of course the question people have asked me is … why leaving a big player for one smaller one?

For several reasons, which I shall explain in the future. But more importantly, the offer came at a right time, right (& unexpected turn of) circumstances and mostly, right people ....

And for this moment, just to dispel that the ABF is a small player ... happy to inform most people that we’ve just been acquired by the monolith, Euromoney group … so check out the articles in Daily Mail & the Edge. So, with the huge backing & opening of rich resources, my move’s vindicated that things are in the right direction.

And the opportunities are endless. So, need to work hard to put things in the right place.