Impatience & Giving Up

Impatience

Last Friday, DY, one of my buddies in office just mentioned simply that I am not a patient person. Yikes!

I asked aloud, "Do you really think I am impatient?"

Yes, answered he ... as I am not someone who compromises easily & always wants things immediately. Am I?

And the the rule of conclusion is that if anyone objects immediately, he definitely is. So I took a moment to consider.
ok, so maybe I am impatient with incompetence & bureaucracy as I usually take everything into my own hands if possible to push things through faster. In any way, I am quick to flare if the problem is with others.

But I know that my patience comes more with my own faults, as I will persistently & diligently pursue my weaknesses.

For sure I am not someone who hangs around to wait & see what happens (unless the situation is totally not within my grasp for control).

Giving up

I am not the kind of guy who likes to give up. But recently, I gave up on 2 things ... my work passion and my quest for my partner.

Just struggling to find my footing and hate to feel like a pawn each day I wake up ... and I wonder sometimes where I am heading in my current situation. Lost? Maybe. Demotivated? Probably.

Hopefully this is another passing phase that I will get through.

And for sure I am now giving up the thought I would ever fall in love with someone & having the someone love me back. Is it so hard to find love? Yes, it is.

I am sick of thinking I found the right person, then later find out that my feelings are not reciprocated; the agony of anticipating moves, reading signs & taking the rejection is too much to bear.

Someone I met recently told me that in love, I should not think so much.

Perhaps, I am too idealistic about love, that it's wonderful, it's fair & should not hurt. Maybe I should just plunge like how I do with work ... do all the crazy things ... go for the experience, risk failure ... after all, I am still young. Maybe I should just forget the pride & don't take things to personally, the person who rejects might not want me ... but does not necessary hate me.

Perhaps every courtship should be faced like facing an interview ... give the all, expect for nothing & hope for the best?

As if it's that simple! Sigh.