Thoughts cast in time

I just revisited my old blog in xanga. Saw a nice article I wrote back then in the far flung lonely Sundays of Singapore. Just food for thought ...

Who is a true Malaysian? >>

A decade ago, this question would have easily been dismissed as an idiosyncratic rhetoric in my days of high school & ignorant bliss … but today, this is a subject I have crossed path so many times, that I have been compelled to question myself, time after time … it matters very much to me today than then, because it does prick my angst if I was wrongly mislabelled a Singaporean, Thai or Indonesian.

Soooo … what does it really mean to be Malaysian? Who can be truly & really deemed Malaysian? Is it because you have a Malaysian passport? Is it because you lived on laksa, curry, rice & other delicacies as your daily staple? Or is it just simply you have been here all your life & known nothing else but being one?

I cannot automatically class any Tan, Nik or Samy as truly Malaysian if they lived in Malaysia all their life … it’s not because they are not, but how would really know the feeling of being one? Do they have the real satisfaction that they would be here rather than anywhere else in the world? My point is, what if they were given a 2^nd chance to taste life in the blizzards of Siberia or the blazing heat of the Sahara? Who knows they might find their bliss there? In no means of accusing them a not, but more of wondering if they have chosen otherwise in optional perspective? Did they choose to be Malaysians?

A wise friend I met in Slovakia had a very interesting anecdote ... you do not really understand your country until you have seen it from the eyes of a foreigner … and it very much applies to me & a bunch of friends who have lived a part of their lives abroad. Can we relate ourselves effectively to others if we do not know how they see things or what they look for? For example, A European versus an American look for different things when they observe a Malaysian eating … so there in lies the beholder of beauty.

And so what if you have a Malaysian passport? That also does not make you Malaysian … if you have spent your whole life everywhere but Malaysia. I have a friend here in Singapore, she is Malaysian, but she studied here all her life, all her friends are Singaporeans, she works here & does not know a single bit of Malay or what it means to be Malaysian (other than the fact that Malaysians are treated as 2^nd class citizens in Singapore). Inverse to the former, this is ironically where you see Malaysians from everywhere but within.

And lastly, I think that to be Malaysian, is very much like a relationship & that means for better or for worse, we live & thrive on it. In my past 4 years, I have met diverse walks that seek internationalism, not for a journey, but as a destination … just as a jet to set forever from their homeland. Yes, I sip to the taste of Bordeaux wine; I yearn for the melting snow upon my cheeks, nothing beats Slovak beer … but I still am Malaysian.

It’s not paradise, it’s not hell either … it’s home. I accept this fact with all my heart, J