A time for change?

Have you watched horses? Or read the book on black beauty?

They would be one of the few animals which are in constant motion & yet, not just any motion, but significant & powerful strides. I picture the life of a horse as one that cannot accept a life in still ... not in a place ... not within a limited place. For a horse, the world is it's playground & would roam to all corners of it's limitations (until someone extends the size of that ground). I kind of relate that to myself because I see myself as a person who tried many things and in everytime I was in a place ... I tested all my possibilities until I felt there was nothing more to learn or when a better opportunity beckons.

In my past 5 years ... I have not stayed in a place for longer than 1 year ... however the only thing I stayed for quite a long time was AIESEC, which I actively gave my 5 years of my life living & breathing it. The others were in working positions from 3 to 12 months (the current one is 12 months & still counting) ... but we shall see.

I just had a long thought about my current situatin & I thought about the past months from the moment I joined until now. When I 1st joined, I benchmarked myself for a promotion within 16 months which was the office average then ... and so I thought that for one, I can let my heart settle down & be in a job to pass the 2 years barrier (just for once)

But as time went by & with progress ... everyone knew mine would be exceptional (we just didn't know how much) ... & true enough, I got mine in January 2005. In an events firm, career growth is always synonymous with company expansion & with that, nothing is quite certain, even when you are a conference director (CD). This, was something I didn't know at the start. Now, opportunity is one thing, but the uncertainty is something else which I found hard to grapple with. Politics which ousted my mentor & with more politics building around me is unsettling & I started wondering ... it's a funny thing about human jealousy ... even if you do everything with best intention, with nothing evil, people still dislike you & think of millions of small things to bring you down.

So, if most people think I am happy where I am now, I cannot say that I am totally ... the work place is like the arena of gladiators ... you fight off your opponent & hope you are aware of the advancing lion attaching you from behind. So, even if I had a moment of happiness & accomplishment, I had seconds to savour it before thinking of my next fight. Some small minions are always picking irritating fights with me and I just hoped one day I would just kill them off with a letter to sack them ... either that OR they finally succeed in convincing my boss to fire me.

The funny thing about humans is that we are never satisfied easily ... the moment we achieve something we wanted, the next would be to search for something even better next. Especially with horses such as myself.

Yesterday, I started wondering if I am still satisfied or getting bored with my work. Wondering if I am happy with where I am at now. Wondering if I could be happier elsewhere ... if my talents would be better appreciated & rewarded there?

Well, the grass is always greener than the other side but then again, luck only favours the bold.

The search for my next destination has begun but when & where & who ... is undecided. This might take a while & not as time bound as when I searched for a job previously.

In fact, I would love a month's sabbatical away from everything ...