If I only knew ...

In my past 10 years ... I do believe that I spent a big part of it trying to find the elusive 'someone' in my life.

It holds true that when we are not looking for it, it will come looking for you ... and when you are looking for it, it just shies away. For my past 18 months, I guess most of the time were just flipping from one fancy to another ... everytime passing one for the easier excuses I could find ... but ultimately because I was not willing to compromise my criteria. Let me not blame fate because from movies, we know that fate has it's way to twist a sweet ending.

Great discoveries happen in the most unexpected manner & situations. But my friends will attribute the situation as "men's insensitivity to signals" ...

So what's the story? Oh, the usual dinner conversation of ... "when are you going get into a serious relationship?"

"Well, I don't know ... not anywhere in my radar now ..."

"Any good friends you have in mind?"

"Maybe ... a few ... three or four ... "

"Anyone interested in you?"

"Errr ... how would I even know?"

"Well ... people who are concerned about you ... people you spend a considerable time with ... "

"I got a few"

"Then YOU have to decide ... the problem's on you"

Fair enough. I gladly acknowledge that because I am always in 2 heads over this ... and have a conservative thinking & ideal criteria. Anyway ...

" How do you know these?" ... since yours truly plays the listener role in this circle ...

"Well ... we just know ... "

Most modern & outgoing women use 'marketing agents' to do some 'scouting' and I guessed this was the case & whom their 'client' was ... but being myself ... I am indecisive ... so here i go thinking ... "Just another fling to be washed down the Jayteoh river of flings ...

Or so I thought?

That night, I woke up for a long time & in my mind was just her ... something I have not felt in a long time. And since then, I have been waking up in the middle of the night ...

Coincidence? winds of change?

The answer ... I seek.